Offally sentimental

I'll admit it. I've been waiting for a couple of weeks to post this one. Because I'm childish, that's why.

You see, today is St. Valentine's Day, the time for a lovely, romantic, truly memorable meal with the one you heart. So what could be more perfect than this dish--another winner from The Modern Priscilla Cookbook, (Boston, Priscilla Publishing Company, 1924):

Stuffed Heart

2 small calves' hearts
1 cup bread crumbs
1/2 teaspoon poultry dressing
1 teaspoon salt
Pepper

Wash the hearts thoroughly and remove muscular portions.

EEEEEEEEEEEwwwwwwwwwwwwwWWWWWWWWWWW!

Make stuffing by pouring boiling water through crumbs and draining well. Add seasonings, and when cool fill the hearts.

EEEEEEEEEEEwwwwwwwwwwwwwWWWWWWWWWWW!

Cover with hot water and cook in moderate oven or in fireless cooker. Drain off liquor and thicken for gravy. Sprinkle hearts with buttered crumbs, and salt and pepper. Put in hot oven for a few minutes to brown. Serve at once.

While you still have the nerve. Get it? Nerve? HAHAHAHA! A little anatomical humor for you.

Time in oven or fireless cooker, 4 to 6 hours. Temperature of oven, 325 degrees. Servings, 6.

Serves six? Six what? Six of whom? I mean, sure, you can get Snow White's stepmother to eat a serving--maybe two--but who in hell is going to eat the rest of it? Renfield from the Dracula movie? Voldemort?

--P.