Poppy Toast

No, this isn't another recipe. It's the result of my entering this blog into a Blog Explosion contest. I got my rump tenderized, to use the argot of the chef de cuisine.

Of course, being the competitive sort, I'm not content to rest upon my non-existent laurels.

No, I bravely forget ahead, sugar bowl in hand, peering into the stew pot that is this blog, wondering how much sugar I'll need to add to eradicate the effects of having accidently dumped too much salt into the ragout.

One thing I'm thinking about is tweaking my template. I don't know whether I feel like getting a snappy professionally-designed template, like the one on my other blog. I mean, hey, that design cost money! No, I was thinking along the lines of what I've been doing to my other other blog. Just fooling around with the colors.

I've started by turning the blog titles avocado green. My question to you, oh non-existent readers, is whether I should continue in this direction. I was thinking a pale, sickly shade of yellowish green for the background, and maybe make some of the other fonts show up in a dark, badly-bruised-looking shade of purple.

What do you think? It makes perfect sense to me that, since my topic is basically, nausea, I should make this blog as horrible looking as I can. And since so many of the recipes I mock are from the 60s and 70s, I thought a hideous color scheme of avocado green, harvest gold, and burnt pumpkin would work nicely.

On the other hand, if I make people spew all over their keyboards, I'll never win the Battle of the Blogs.

All suggestions gladly accepted. Comment away! "Love," as the singer was wont to sing "has no pride," and I do love this silly little blog.

Dinosaur Eggs--They're What's For Breakfast!

Ack, I just realized that I entered this blog into a Blog Explosion challenge against Jane Loves Tarzan. When I really meant to enter my other blog, which is a more general, personal diary type of read. Whoops.

And now I've got 30 credits riding on a blog whose sole purpose is to make fun of a bunch of bad recipes. What to do?

Jump right the hell in, that's what.

So here's the latest monstrosity I discovered. Something short, if not sweet. For the record, this recipe comes from the River Road Recipes cookbook, a publication of the Junior League of Baton Rouge, Louisiana. No, I don't have the cookbook handy. It's elsewhere. So unfortunately, I can't type in the recipe verbatim. But why would I need to? This recipe only has two ingredients:

Dinosaur Eggs

Four eggs (chicken eggs, duh)
One can Campbell's Chicken Noodle Soup

Break eggs into bowl. Mix until well scrambled. Mix in can of soup. (Do not add water!) Scramble in a pan over low heat. Serve.

Mmm-mm good!™

Actually, it sort of sounds like dog vomit.

And I don't care how many home economics graduates the Campbell Soup company can get to line up and assure me, one after the other, that this glop would be edible. I cry foul.

[Or fowl. Hee!]

At any rate--not to sound like Pat Robertson, but a recipe like this makes you realize why Hurricane Katrina whalloped Louisiana, doesn't it?

Once in a while, I'm not reading cookbooks to find horrifying recipes.

Once in a while, I'm reading cookbooks so I can actually cook something good. You may have noticed that I haven't posted anything new here in a while. But it's because I was actually cooking real, live, home-made, only-very-lightly-processed food. There was nary a can of cream of mushroom soup or a tub of Cool-Whip to be found chez Poppy.

But it's the new year, and guess what? All that not-mushroom-souped or Cool-Whipped food is now lodging in fat cells all over my body. Which is good news for you, because it means that once more, I am obsessed with foods I have no business eating.

And when you're surviving on rice cakes and miso soup, what better than to read old Junior League cookbooks, searching for the ultimate cheese ball recipe?

So ... I'll be back.

--P.