That's what it says on the title page of Lunches and Brunches, by the editors of Better Homes & Gardens (Meredith Press, 1963). Now, isn't that a reassuring thought?
By the way, I searched in vain for the city where the Meredith Press is located. I've spent much of my life formatting footnotes, and properly formatted footnotes include that information. But the location of the Meredith Press was nowhere to be found. Personally, I suspect foul play. How much do you want to bet that Meredith Press is at the bottom of New York Harbor, her horribly decayed skeleton wafting gently in currents of pollution?
Well, it's no more than she deserved for including this recipe in the chapter entitled "Show-Off Salads for Lunch":
Strawberry-Cream Squares
2 3-ounce packages strawberry-flavored gelatin
2 cupes boiling water
2 10-ounce packages frozen strawberries
1 131/2-ounce can (11/2 cupes) crushed pineapple
2 large, fully ripe bananas, finely diced
• • •
1 cup dairy sour cream
Dissolve gelatin in boiling water. Add berries, stirring occasiobnally till thawed. Add pineapple and banana. Pour half the mixture into an 8x8x2-inch pan. Chill till firm. Spoon sour cream over chilled gelatin, spreading in an even layer; pour remaining gelatin over. chill firm.
Cut in 9 squares; serve on lettuce ruffles. Garnish with dollops of sour cream and whole strawberries split in half from top almost to bottom. Makes 9 servings.
Makes nine servings unless someone shows up with an unexpected addition to the party. Then the harried hostess will have to subdivide the Strawberry Squares. Imagine the squabbling, the heartburnings--nay, the carnage.
Also please note that while the Editors of Better Homes & Garden are incredibly punctilious with regard to punctuation and other niceties (for example, note the "an" before the "8" in "8x8x2-inch pan"--you have to admire their thoroughness) they forgot to mention where you're supposed to get the strawberries for the garnish. You know, the ones you're supposed to slice "from top almost to bottom." Personally, I can't imagine frozen strawberries managing to survive this treatment, or looking particularly attractive it they did.
At any rate, there you have it; an incredibly labor-intensive, artificially fruity, vitamin-depleted, fatty and sugary excuse for a salad that probably tastes just like Starburst Fruit Chews.
--P.
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1 comment:
Poppy quotes the good folk at BH&G, who instruct the Camelot-era hausfrau to take frozen strawberries (which might have have made a pleasing sacrifice in a, say, frozen strawberry daiquiri) and cut them "from top almost to bottom."
This is, of course, a cruel practical joke from the twisted minds at BH&G. Cutting a frozen strawberry is akin to shaving a ferret: somebody's gonna get hurt.
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